Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She felt excited all night and couldn’t sleep at all, until finally the alarm went off. She immediately turned it off and jumped out of bed. Having breakfast, her father came in. He was just as nervous as she was.
Still feeling a bit anxious, she got on her bike. When she arrived at the hospital, she quickly got inside. Walking through the corridors, she began to feel more and more nervous. Seeing the right room, she took a deep breath and entered it. She just sat down beside her mother, when a nurse arrived. Anna asked her if everything was going to be alright with her mother. She answered: ‘We will do whatever we can, but her situation is still critical. I’m going to take her to the doctor now, so could you wait in the waiting room, please?’ Anna went there immediately. Sitting in the waiting room, she felt terribly lost. It felt like she had been waiting for hours, when finally the nurse came. She said Anna was allowed to go and see her mother. Anna got to the room as quickly as possible and what she saw there was unforgettable.
Her father, mother and her newborn brother were sitting on the hospital bed. She had never felt happier in her whole life. She was so glad everything turned out so well that she cried and embraced her father. How could this day ever get better?
word count: 260 words (I know there are too much, but I couldn't make it a shorter story because then it would be rubbish and without any coherence :P)
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E tu, Brute? Much words...? That being said: at first glance, I think it is a good story with the desired range of structures and vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteLet's see what comments your fellow students can come up with.
God, it's hard to find anything that's not right about this.
ReplyDeleteIn the second last sentence there's 'so' twice. It's probably nothing, but for the rest there's just nothing I can come up with.
Conclusion: A stunning piece of work. Keep this up, and I think you can do the advanced english.
See ya
Sat down besides her mother, is odd but that's it I suppose :P
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Bas
Well spotted, Bas. If anyone wants to know why, look up the difference in meaning between "beside" and "besides" - one letter difference but a different meaning.
ReplyDeleteYes you're right, I already corrected it in the text. Stupid mistake! I know it's wrong so it's a bit weird that I wrote that but ok :P
ReplyDelete